i'm mad. so i will eat.

I’m so angry.


I’m so angry with my friends.



Makes me sad to say that because my friends are the main group I hang out with. It started out being a church group but we all became really close friends. We go to church together. We go to movies. We go to church events together and just have fun. But they can make me so frustrated. Two of my friends planned this paintball event for youth not just for people in my church but in others and of course it was implied that our group go. Well I didn’t. I didn’t want to spend the money and I didn’t want to waste the time (and gas) because I had work the next day and it was supposed to be a thing where you stay the night at this park (in a tent too yeck). Anyways, the event is now over and I got a text from a friend saying how they were angry with me because I didn’t go. I need to start going to events even if I don’t want to for the good of others. Then I texted another friend that went and they said it was a spiritual retreat and I shoudve been there. Basically it made me feel like crap.

Is Jesus going to be upset if I don’t go to every event? I’m going on a trip to Europe soon I can’t be spending so much money.

Anyways, I’m irritated and you can tell by the way I’m eating.

I’m not even hungry but I’m mad so I’m going to eat. This is something new I used to restrict but atm since I’m not doing that I’ll eat. Granted I’m only eating grapes. But I’m eating more than I should.



Sigh… I can’t be so angry all the time its bad for my health. How sad is that to be irriated with your “family?”