life is worth it.

Hey there,


So I’ve been really depressed lately.

All these thoughts were running through my head and as much as I hate going to people I told a friend to meet with me and he did yesterday. He told me once again I need to change my thinking. I yelled at him a lot. But of course he took it and then gave me the tools I need to not be so overwhelmed and basically told me I need to get myself to do what I have to. Period.

I’m crying at the moment. Even though we met yesterday a story of his just hit me. He works in a hospital and told me about two girls. One girl came in who was 26 and weighted like 80 pounds or less I cant remember. He say I looked at her and saw you. : ( I told my friend how I’m having trouble seeing positive things in life and he told me about another girl, a young girl, came in with cuts on her arms and a cut on her neck. She tried to commit suicide. He said he thought of me; how its possible I’m close to doing that. : (

I thought… How could they not see that life is worth living? They have so much potential why do they not see that? How do they not realize God wants them to live?

I guess I hear these things and tell these things to other people but don’t listen to myself. I mean truly listen and believe that myself. God has a plan and purpose for me. I’m not worthless. I don’t deserve pain. There are positive things in life.

I need to engrave that in my mind. My life is not a waste. Ah. I can use my life to give someone else hope; I can let them know when they are in a crisis…hey I’ve been there and things get better. You can change lives.

The worst thing is having no hope left. Time to restore hope in the world.