Tuesday, May 24, 2011

FAT. trigger.

I’m triggered. Tonight I’m watching (atm) dr. oz and they are having people on who are obese and they are kids. I dread being fat. And tonight there is a girl who has anorexia and is ’16 and pregnant’. I’ve been eatng healthier lately. Trying a plant based diet because I saw the fannntasssticcc movie “Forks over Knives”. Its hard but so much better for you.


I’ve gone really far into this recovery deal. A year ago I would be restricting and crying on my floor paralyzed. Now I don’t want to hurt myself anymore. God gave me a purpose I realize that now… but I still crave to do what I do…


I feel so fat. I feel obese. All I see is fat. Fat on my wrists and on my ankles. I dread to try on my leotard these days.


My goal was to take a ballet class in Czech this summer but now I think id be too embarrassed.


Wow. Do I feel triggered right now. I’m trying to hold back going and throwing up to be honest.

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