Fear

Fear.

God’s answer to fear? “Do not be afraid.”

Well that’s great. There are no steps to how not to fear. There is no outline for me to follow. All there is, is those four words: Do Not Be Afraid. And also the fact that the person saying this is the Almighty God…

Do not fear is easier said than done, of course. I’ve been thinking a lot about this concept of fear lately. One reason being I’m afraid of everything. Correction… not everything. But sometimes I do wonder if I’m going to develop agoraphobia. I’m so fearful of going into unfamiliar situations. For example, yesterday I wanted to do yoga. I found several places offering good deals for new students like 2 weeks of yoga for only 20 dollars… these places are right by my house and I wanted to go so bad. I spent all day looking at times and classes of when I could go. Instead of jumping into my car with my new yoga gear I had second thoughts. These places are new… what if I don’t like them… what if I don’t fit in… what if its not like my other yoga studio… what if… what if… what if… after two hours (yes… I said it… two hours!) of going back and forth on whether I should go to one of these new yoga studios or not. I ultimately decided I would just go to my regular one. Its familiar. But then I thought… I’m going to be paying almost twenty bucks for a class when I could go to one of these new studios for 2 weeks for that price.

Well all this thinking caused me to give up. My head hurt. I felt sick that I couldn’t make a decision. I had anxiety just thinking about walking into a new place. Not worth it. Not worth putting myself through all this. So not only did fear contribute to me not being able to make a decision it lead me to running seven miles later because I did not get a workout in earlier.

Why do I fear unfamiliar places? I went to Europe. Throw in a place where I knew no one, didn’t know the language, culture and practices, and yet I felt more comfortable there than I do here. I thought my adventurous side was coming out and I was able to leave fear behind me in the dust. Apparently not.

This fear of not wanting to be in unfamiliar places is leading me to turning down job offers/internships which could really benefit my future. I really need to work on this.

So what to do about this:

Realize that God is in control

It is okay to make mistakes- nothing too bad will happen

Realize that you will be missing out on so many opportunities

That not going through with things will just lead to more confusion/hatred/anger… nothing good.

Push myself to get out of the house!

Its okay not to know what the next step is… turn this fear into curiosity.