WASTED

So last night I stayed up until about 12:30 (when I had to get up at 6- not a good idea) reading the book Wasted. All throughout the book I could completely identify with this girl. We lived in the same city, walked the same streets, started being weight conscious at the same age, we check ourselves out in the mirror every chance we get, our family dynamics are even the same. Every moment of this book I felt like I connected with her; it was almost like I was there in the book with her watching her go through all these horrible situations. I could not wait to finish the book and see how she improved and how she came back from the brink of death and whatnot. Well I get to the afterword, I think that is the name of the chapter… she checks herself into the hospital and I started crying. I continued reading and it was honestly like my brain shut down. Throughout the book I felt like my brain was going and processing all this stuff and then I got to the part where she got better (well sorta) and it was like my brain shut down. None of it was making sense anymore. I couldn’t understand it. It was like seomthing clicked in her head to want to get better (I know she still struggles tho) and something just didn’t register with me. I felt weird!! I felt as if some emotional part of me just wasn’t registering and because of that I cried. I cried a lot. Maybe I was happy she didn’t die. Maybe I was sad that she had to get to 52 pounds to come to the conclusion that life was worth living. I’m not quite sure what happened. But it was just so odd getting to the end and I didn’t feel like I expected. I just cried. Maybe I did feel something, but I just cannot put a label on what that feeling was.